I’m voting Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I’m voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my horse.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I’m voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they will then know we’re really good people.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit the liberal fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I’m voting Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my @#% it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.

It sure is…

…but it’s so true…

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away men’s initiative and independence.

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

I WONDER ABOUT 3 THINGS IN THIS WORLD

1. COWS
2. THE CONSTITUTION
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

COWS

Isn’t it just amazing that our government can track a cow born in
Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in
the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their
stalls, but they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don’t
we just give them ours? It was written and approved by a lot of
really smart guys; it’s worked for over 200 years; and, we’re not using
it anymore.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a
courthouse… You cannot post: “Thou Shall Not Steal,” “Thou Shall
Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of
lawyers, judges and politicians: It creates a hostile work
environment.